Friday, May 26, 2017

The Natural Banana Milk

                       by : Tanoko prawira 

"So, he smoked his cigarette, just to make sure that she's answering her questions, and without hesitation, Spock was relieved when she's smiled at him too" -The Ballad of Spock the musician wannabe- (my next short story, release on the end of November 2017)

There's something i don't understand about this cruel world.
1.How could people easily changed their mind?
2.How could i make people that i loved, happy?

the first thing is, yeah how could people easily changed their mind? remember that i told you that at some point i don't wanna fall in love again, because i'm too sick with my entire life. but, it changed, she changed it, she made me feel about the idea of love (again)
i know, my reputation isn't quite good enough, thanks a lot for some people that bad-mouthing me and spreading bad rumours about me, yeah someone doesn't like i got my own happiness. I felt like i'm just a fallen angel, that being praised by people before, after i fell to earth and my wings broken, they labeled me as a "devil"
but it doesn't affect me so much, because i'm too tired dealing with some people that doesn't know about me 100%
while being those fallen angel, i learned that there's always be a person that cared about you mostly and doesn't give any shit about what people said to you, and of them is the one and only, Bunny :)
turned out it's not cool enough for being a popular (no i'm not being over confident, but the fact said so) because wherever you're going, the public wants to know what you gonna do, or what kind of controversial things you'll do next, especially for a person like me that labeled as a jerk. Luckily she's the kind of person that wants to hear everything that popped on ny head. Just like from the previous post I've written. nobody ever looked me in the eye like that, and nobody hold my hand like she did. Anyhow, Everytime she holds my hands, and played my hair while i was busy doing another things, i felt the strangest feelings that i haven't felt for a long time. i liked it when she played my hair, when she was leaning over my shoulder, when she touched my face, when she looked me in the eyes, and when she told me that i had a beautiful eyes. And the way she hugged me, i felt something that makes my heart beating so fast (i thought the pain and too much smoking makes my heart stopped, but here it is) i don't know, i felt it too.  Everytime she walked across my table on the cafeteria. it's just something on her faces that made wanna see her again and again. and i was doing fine before, til i saw her eyes turned away from mine. Those girl are one in a Million (For me) and i guess i'm so lucky to get her on my side. she's just like a butterfly, pretty to see but hard to catch. That's the thing i really pursuit, cause man like me loved some challenge. One night, she hugged me so long and then whispered to my ear
"I love you"
and then she kissed me.
maybe it's simple, but it's an affections that makes a person like me, surrender on her. And it was a greatest moment I've ever had, cause i never felt that kind of action before. trust me, i was thinking about it almost everyda, and it's the first time, i really wanted to fight for someone. And how could i make all the people's that i loved, happy? i guess i should let myself happy first, isn't it? so i can spread the positives around the neighborhood. Thank you, for changing my life and make damn sure that my life makes me a human again, not a robot or an alien. I hope we go to a long journey between you and me, cause i'm just trying to find a nice place for You and I, I hope we're last for a time that we can't even predict. Because i'm too tired for looking, babe. And you made me stop and earned my freedom, because this is what i'm searching for my whole life :)
so, love me as though there were no tomorrow, bunny. And help me forget my sorrow, and i'll show you the world. and baby, please hold my hand Everytime i had a bad dreams, or a rough day.

PS : when you smiled, deep down my heart's beating so fast, and i can't take my eyes away from your face.

 -Your one and only Mr.Weirdo-

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Cold to see clear

                        Cold To See Clear
                            by : Tanoko Prawira

days by days has passed, they just don't end. without any sleep i roam around, ride alone, walked around on those lonesome road. maybe it's a curse, that i'm God's lonely man, and loneliness has followed me everywhere i go. especially since that incident that almost changed me completely. I used to think that i don't wanna getting involved onanother relationship or some kind of commitment again, i just want to be happy and got my own freedom. But sadly, it's not what i need....until I've met this girl. I remember the first time i saw her face and i don't know who is she. Surrounded by some people i knew, but she's mysterious. and it happened after some gig at my own campus. Since that day i was curious about her, but sadly some things made me i can't fed my
hunger of curiosity. And i remember one day, she's staring at me on the cafetaria, and i looked her too, and everyone on my table noticed that, but damn! i'm not ready yet to meet new person because i still have my own scars, so it's makes me more curious about her. Days by days, weeks by weeks, i was playing again on a gig on my campus. and it was a wonderful night for me, before the show, i walked to the cafetaria and sat with my whole band member and the manager, we're joking and do something silly, and then someone yells to me, told me that i've been mocked by some junior, looked back instantly, and it was was her that laughing at my jokes. which not all the people can laugh at my jokes. So i moved to her table, and then ask her name. And it's the first time i've talked to her. after that it was both strange and colorful, don't know what things i ate. but something on my mind told me to talk again with her. so i followed her instagram, and then chat her, i don't have any intention before to hit her, but, something miraculous happened, without any good reason i asked her LINE Id, and she's just gave that to me, so i chat her. Since that day we're become so close. I remember how those eyes looked me in the eyes, and nobody else can do that to me, I remember the time she's holding my bleeding hands that night, when everything so messed up. I remember the night we both talked about some random things that don't ended, becuase usually all people that talked to me got bored. I remember how her smile when she was laughing with all her friends. I remember those black hoodie when the first time we're staring at each other. i remember that banana milk when she's asked me which milk she should bought. and yet she's a butterfly, pretty to see but hard to catch and every girl should like that, instead of chasing me first, duhh i don't like that kind of girl. whenever i'm alone with her, she makes me feel like i'm whole again, free again, and FEEL again. really, since that major heartbreak and mental breakdown, i don't think i can be fall in love again, and thank God, i can fell in love again with her. Without any hesitation.  according to the title i wrote above, it's clear that sometimes being a cold person doesn't mean you're turned into something bad. no, being cold sometimes makes you see clearly, which one that still cared about you. thanks a lot for making me human again, and gave me some reason to fight against my life.

I love you, Bunny.

-Your one and only Mr.Weirdo-