Thursday, May 4, 2017

Cold to see clear

                        Cold To See Clear
                            by : Tanoko Prawira

days by days has passed, they just don't end. without any sleep i roam around, ride alone, walked around on those lonesome road. maybe it's a curse, that i'm God's lonely man, and loneliness has followed me everywhere i go. especially since that incident that almost changed me completely. I used to think that i don't wanna getting involved onanother relationship or some kind of commitment again, i just want to be happy and got my own freedom. But sadly, it's not what i need....until I've met this girl. I remember the first time i saw her face and i don't know who is she. Surrounded by some people i knew, but she's mysterious. and it happened after some gig at my own campus. Since that day i was curious about her, but sadly some things made me i can't fed my
hunger of curiosity. And i remember one day, she's staring at me on the cafetaria, and i looked her too, and everyone on my table noticed that, but damn! i'm not ready yet to meet new person because i still have my own scars, so it's makes me more curious about her. Days by days, weeks by weeks, i was playing again on a gig on my campus. and it was a wonderful night for me, before the show, i walked to the cafetaria and sat with my whole band member and the manager, we're joking and do something silly, and then someone yells to me, told me that i've been mocked by some junior, looked back instantly, and it was her...it was her that laughing at my jokes. which not all the people can laugh at my jokes. So i moved to her table, and then ask her name. And it's the first time i've talked to her. after that it was both strange and colorful, don't know what things i ate. but something on my mind told me to talk again with her. so i followed her instagram, and then chat her, i don't have any intention before to hit her, but, something miraculous happened, without any good reason i asked her LINE Id, and she's just gave that to me, so i chat her. Since that day we're become so close. I remember how those eyes looked me in the eyes, and nobody else can do that to me, I remember the time she's holding my bleeding hands that night, when everything so messed up. I remember the night we both talked about some random things that don't ended, becuase usually all people that talked to me got bored. I remember how her smile when she was laughing with all her friends. I remember those black hoodie when the first time we're staring at each other. i remember that banana milk when she's asked me which milk she should bought. and yet she's a butterfly, pretty to see but hard to catch and every girl should like that, instead of chasing me first, duhh i don't like that kind of girl. whenever i'm alone with her, she makes me feel like i'm whole again, free again, and FEEL again. really, since that major heartbreak and mental breakdown, i don't think i can be fall in love again, and thank God, i can fell in love again with her. Without any hesitation.  according to the title i wrote above, it's clear that sometimes being a cold person doesn't mean you're turned into something bad. no, being cold sometimes makes you see clearly, which one that still cared about you. thanks a lot for making me human again, and gave me some reason to fight against my life.



I love you, Bunny.




-Your one and only Mr.Weirdo- 

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