Saturday, February 18, 2017

The Ace in the hole

                        THE ACE IN THE HOLE
                            by : Tanoko Prawira



it's clear that every man should have his own will, entitled by the sweat on his brow. Because a Man CHOOSE, and a Slave OBEYS really, how could someone held me in another prison state of mind, it's like something that killed my own character. and slowly changing my line. that's what happened for the past 6 months. in the beginning it was a colorful days, for sure. nothing to worry about, everything just fine, and there's only a smile from a young boy that licking his candy every noon'

But sadly, it's just about time, when everything was revealed, she's just revealed her true self and without any hesitation deep down she stabbed my back. I don't know why on earth she could did that to me. The moment when that incident happened, it was  really a stressful things. I was wrong and i was stupid back then, for giving her a second chance. Nah it's not stupid it's a kind thing giving someone any second chance, but really. how can a man stand tall when there's more than a second chance and still, there's no difference at all from herself. After that strange night that someone i really hate about came to me and talk to me like we're just an old pal, i smashed his face out, because i thought that he's the one that responsible that makes my relationship wrong. But, it's a totally wrong. days by days week by week has passed, i thought it's just will stop after that crappy incident that revealed what she's doing when i'm not around. Guess what? I discovered a lot of crazy facts about her, and yes it is there's a lot of secret as the time goes by, has been revealed, for example one month after that punch, she said that she wanna go to some kind of work with her friend, but she's not mentioned that she was working with the person I've smashed in his face, she told me when i saw his name on her phone, and you know what happened next? my friend gave me some picture that they're being together, sitting on a couch, watching some kind of video i don't know, and guess what? her hand was on his lap. I don't know what did i do wrong, but really, it sucks when you're trying to be a nice and loyal person, but everything you got just another traitorous act. turns out it's HER. that makes her own hell, it's HER that playing and do some victim blaming while the reality says that, she ain't the victim. one day i even saw the conversation between her and some boys, i knew who's the boy is. and they're used to be have an affair long time before she came to me, and you know what? it's just contained some kind of flirting and seductive talks for something they want. really? what did i do wrong to the other, or myself, til' i get this kind of nympho?

that moment i really wants to ditch her, and guess what, she doesn't wanted me to ditch her. she wants me to give her another chance, guess what? there's already 3 chances i gave to her, but still no difference at all, just another secret that i discovered later on. The fact that she's too overprotective about me. is busting my ball's too.
i was fell asleep, but she thought that i was hanging out with another girl. Really? i'm not her, if i wants to hanging out with another girl, i'll say it directly not secretly hanging out with another boy or maybe sleep with him too, yeah maybe i'm not accusing someone, it's purely some kind of speculation.

from that moment, it's a moment that changed my life forever, a young boy that licking his candy turned to be an adult's that smoking his cigarettes. I don't know, whoever turned me like this, please be aware that there's always a Karma for something like that. the point is, I'm a SUBJECT not an OBJECT. no one can told me how to live or how to act, or believe that she/he owns me, NOBODY. including her. just because she's nice and often to bought me something and gave me something, doesn't mean she owns me and can do everything she likes about me, because it's look like i'm just your Ace in the Hole, your secret weapon when people that you cared the most doesn't care about you anymore, you came to me hoping you'll find some affection that you need the most. It's like that from the beginning isn't it? you can't even completely erased your first Ex "kindness" that changed your life forever. but you don't want to be alone, so you came to me, but something's happened, you think that i'm one of your property. but no. i have my own freedom.

you're always asking me about why'd i "Dump" you, you said i was leave you behind. But really, you're the one that dump yourself from me, because of your ego and your attitude. Oh yeah if you think that i want to hit another girl, you're totally wrong, on some coincidence i was watching some gigs with my friends,but on the road i got left by my friends because he's too enthusiast about the gig, when i arrived there's nobody i knew, and my friend was missing, on the same coincidence, i met her, and she's looking for her cousin's too because there's too much crowd, so I asked her to accompanying me, and she does accompanying me because it's just a friend.  and you're not coming with me because you're attended your family gathering but you don't like it when i wanted to hanging out with my friends,  so i'm just go after all because they wanted me to come. oh yeah i got close with that girl since that gig as a friends, i don't have any intention to hit her, because we both the same kind of missing our "friends" in the crowd.And we spent that night til the music was over, and nothing happens after that.  and you know what? it doesn't makes me wants to hit another girl. And yes, i have my own rights for my own happiness.


best regards:

The Man Who Sold The World


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